July 2007
You Don’t Have to Change Who You Are to Make Your Dream Life a Reality
Expanding your horizons, exploring new interests and hobbies, and meeting new people are all great ways to grow, as long as you’re doing these things because you truly want to, not because you think you need to.
Change can be good, but there are some things you really can’t change. I think Popeye was really on to something when he quipped, “I am what I am.” He’s right. Being who you are is what you are naturally best at. Trying to be someone you’re not can be an exercise in frustration and disappointment.
Think about how you interact with your environment, with people, with your job, and with yourself. Don't try to create a scenario of your perfect dream self.
For example, let's say Betty goes on a hike and finds herself consumed by thoughts in her head. She seeks to change her behavior by joining the Sierra Club with the hope that she will become a more attentive hiker and learn from fellow hikers how to appreciate nature more fully. When she completes a hike with her new group, Betty complains that the folks in the club are boring. They take too long to discuss one shrub or are just not her kind of people. The hikes take too long, and she doesn't feel that she's getting enough targeted exercise.
My point is, you can try to change your life and change how you experience your life, but trying to be different from who you are will not override your conditioning. You can't just decide that you will begin to enjoy nature walks and listen to discussions of a rare bush when you get pleasure from going to the local gym for aerobics and are conditioned to exercise as a means to an end.
Work with what you've got; work with your conditioned thoughts and attitudes to make your life better for you. Don't try to change yourself into someone you're not—it will never work! I have always loved this quote: “Be yourself; everyone else is taken!”
Staying Strong—Staying Connected
Develop and maintain a strong connection with your intention and your dream for life. If you don't have a clear picture of how you want to live and with whom, where you want to live, and what you intend to achieve, then you will never live it.
Ask yourself these questions:
1. What do I see as my unique gift?
2. How am I using my creativity, talent, and gift?
3. What are my core values?
4. Am I living in alignment with my core values?
5. Am I living the life I want to be living?
6. What am I doing when I feel the most inner joy?
7. What do I feel enthusiastic about?
Write out your answers to these questions, and allow your Vision for your life to surface. Focusing on the “what” and not on the “how” will allow your Vision take hold. As you do this, experience yourself claiming what you want for yourself—feel yourself lighting the fire of insatiable desire for the life you are creating!
With an open heart,
Dr. Adrianne Ahern
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